Is There Something On My Face?

So I'm watching the great "rivalry" of the Suns & Spurs on TNT, although I have to agree with Alvin Gentry when he says "This ain't no rivalry until we win some.  Rivalries are when they win some and we win some."  Well said because as we all know, the Spurs have just owned us the last 5 or 6 years in the playoffs.  Not really much of a give & take relationship from what I've seen.  Although I must admit, I do like our chances this year.  The Spurs are definitely a different team from a couple years ago even.  No "Big Shot Bob" Robert Horry, worst nickname ever given.  What is he, Sideshow Bob's cousin?  Silent Bob's brother?  Needless to say, I hated that guy.  He's caused the Suns nothing but grief and is a cheap, dirty player.  Gone are also the days of the grisly Bruce Bowen who also was a very easy to hate individual.  He definitely knew how to get under the skin.

What is left for the Spurs though is what they are referring to as the "Big 3".  This includes the wonderful trio of Tony Parker, Tim Duncan, and Manu Ginobili.  Tim Duncan might be the biggest whiner in basketball currently.  If he puts up a shot and it doesn't go in, and sometimes even if it does go in, those gigantic eyeballs look like they're going to pop out of his head and his hands go up in the air like "What?!"  I know he's a good player, but come on man, just because you missed doesn't mean you got fouled.  Just shut your mouth and let the refs do the reffing.  Sound fair?  Not a good combo to be the most boring  basketball player of all time and also the whiniest.  Reason #58 why I can't stand the Spurs.

Tony Parker is actually a decent guy.  There's really nothing I don't like about him.  He plays hard nosed, straight up basketball and will take you to the hole every time.  He's not a dirty player, doesn't complain, and is actually pretty entertaining to watch.  Parker, I wish you were on my team.  Stay strong homey.  Much love.  Just get away from the Spurs when you get the chance, because you're a good apple in a bucket of bad crab apples.

That brings me to the subject of this blog.  I don't know if you've been watching the Suns/Spurs series at all, but if you haven't you're missing out on this treat.  Manu Ginobili.  Yes you love to hate him, but he's very similar to Parker in that he normally just plays hard nosed basketball (no pun intended).  Speaking of nose, Ginobili has got one that won't quit.  Unfortunately, he broke it in the previous round of the playoffs and was supposed to wear a mask to protect it from being injured any further.  Instead, he opted out and decided to go the route of the splint.  Now I'm no expert, but that thing on his face reminds me of the furthest thing from a splint.  Haven't seen it?  Click here.  I'm pretty sure if that's a splint, then it's sponsored by Kotex, because I figured he had that on his face to stop the bleeding.  Turns out, it's meant to protect his face.  He has it taped on with what appears to be a half roll of scotch tape.  Ginobili, you truly have no shame.  I would wear a face mask in a heartbeat over the maxi pad look.

I can just see the conversation in the training room now before the first game he played after the injury.  The head trainer comes in "Ok Manu, try this face mask on.  I know it'll be a little uncomfortable, but it's the best we can do until we get one made that will fit your face perfectly."

Manu puts on the face mask and in his Eastern European voice says, "This is way too uncomfortable, what else have you got over there?"

Head trainer: "Uh....  Well I have this splint, but...  I don't even want to show it to you, just try the facemask for a while.  Let it grow on you."

Ginobili: "Let me see the splint, there's no way my nose will fit in this mask.  I can barely breathe, plus it won't help with any bleeding I may incur during a game."

Trainer: "Ok, fine.  But don't say I didn't warn you.  Have you no shame?"

Maybe I'm the only one that is likening that thing to a "sanitary napkin" as the old timers call it, but I'm just wishing the front of it said "Brought to you by 'Tampax'" because any company that rented that space would make a killing with all of the close ups they do in the course of an NBA game.  If I had to take a second guess, I would bet money that Ginobili wore it just to spite the Suns in hopes that it would distract them.  Your average guy feels a little awkward when he's staring these certain feminine products down eye to eye, or eye to nose if you will.  More power to you Manu.  Just knock it off with the European flop already and you'd be a pretty fun guy to watch as well.  Did you go to the Vlade Divac school of flop?  It's cheap and weak.

That leaves me with one last gem to discuss in my Spurs rant.  The always constipated looking Gregg Popovich.  Granted, he obviously knows what he's doing because he's won a few NBA titles in his day, but he is like the Adolf Hitler of the NBA.  The most hated and feared coach to face in the course of the post season.  I don't think his mom hugged him enough when he was young, because the guy never looks like he's having fun.  Of course it'd be tough for me to have fun if I was constipated all the time I guess.  But how about a smile or a handshake?  After the Suns' beat-down of the Spurs in Game 1, Popovich wasn't even kind enough to go shake the hand of his once assistant Gentry.  He just gave him a quick wave like I would wave at the guy in the office who I want to do everything to avoid talking to, but I don't want to act like I'm ignoring him at the same time.  You know who you are weirdo.  Well, maybe you don't.  Popovich, you are nothing short of a mess.  It seems to be a miracle if your hair is halfway combed.

This is quite a good game going on tonight, and I hope you take the time to watch.  This could definitely be the year the "rivalry" begins.  If nothing else, check out maxi pad man.  You'll be glad you did.